Why I don’t say “I am proud of you.”

hax120427

I cringe when someone says, “I am proud of you”, to me or anyone else. I have had this reaction for years, not just recently. I hesitated saying it to my children while they were growing up. It just sounds so condescending to me. Like I am saying, I know better/do/think than you and am qualified to point out to you that you are on the right track. I looked up the meaning of the phrase and according to the mass online presence, it means that the person saying it has been through or knows what you have been through to accomplish what you have accomplished. This would involve a very personal relationship to have been developed between the person saying it and the receiver and a very long relationship. In my opinion, teachers, mentors and parents could be included without question. Why did I use it sparingly on my kids, if at all? Saying it made me feel oddly superior and while I know we are superior in many ways to our kids. This phrase made me feel like I was egotistically reminding them of my superiority, like a reminder of your place in the hierarchy of relationships, a putting you in your place with a smile on my face kind of exchange. It took the focus away from the celebrated victory and placed it on my feelings about it. It felt deceptive, a little bit cruel and not at all conveyed the message I wanted to tell them, which was:

You accomplished such a monumentally important thing and I hope you bask in the glow of this feeling as much as I am right along with you.

I seriously rejoice in my kids accomplishments and personally think they are the best human beings on the planet. I also have a decent amount of personal pride in my accomplishment of raising two amazing human beings. I say, “I am proud of you” in the mirror to myself everyday, because, well, I feel superior to myself and need the reminder of where I fit in the relationship hierarchy.

 

Blueberry Waffle Me Baby

I love waffles. I have worn out waffle makers. Since I began eating a whole food plant based diet, I have cut way back on flour based products. One because they are processed and therefore far from a whole food and two because flour wreaks havoc on my blood sugar. So eating a waffle has become a once in awhile food that I know will always make me feel really crappy afterwards. Well, recently I decided that I was gonna have my waffle and eat it too! I decided that I was going to nail down the waffle recipe that I could eat and enjoy without feeling horrible afterwards. There are consistently three foods that I will eat that make my body sorry that I ate them: waffles, ice cream and pizza. I will find recipes for all three that are delicious, satisfying and make my body say, “hell yea!”.

So let’s talk flours. I have been substituting different flours for white/wheat flour for over a year now in different cake, cookies, pies and desserts. I tried amaranth, almond, coconut, oat, and rice. If you read any recipe that calls for substitute flours, you will know what a pain it is to try and substitute white/wheat flour for other flours. You have to use a combination of at least three different substitute flours and add in ingredients like xanthan gum or guar gum to make up for the lack of gluten. Perhaps it is my lack of interest in working this out but it was too complicated for me and I never found the right combination for tasty edible food. Either it was a texture issue or it didn’t rise or it didn’t taste right.

I was perusing waffle recipes the other night and stumbled across a simple recipe on one of my favorite sites that called for regular white flour but in the reviews, which I always read, a reviewer had substituted spelt flour. I immediately researched spelt flour and found out that it has gluten in it and can be substituted 1:1 for white/wheat flour. What?! No way. Yes way. I bought some.

Last night I threw together the waffle recipe. It is a dry mix I keep in a mason jar and just add water to it.

1 1/4 cups spelt flour

1tsp coconut sugar or any other non-white sugar

2tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1tsp cinnamon

Blueberry Spelt Waffles

This morning I made blueberry spelt waffles with coconut butter and real maple syrup. I had a mouth-gasm. It was amazing. The waffle was fluffy, chewy , with a slightly sweet nutty flavor. I put the blueberries in the mix and grill in the waffle iron, instead of on top. Coconut butter is just shredded unsweetened coconut spun in the food processor until it becomes butter texture and I use it like butter. So my search for the perfect waffle recipe is over. My body loves this one. Now on to find a pizza cheese that satisfies! I will let you know how my spelt pizza crust comes out.

Your mileage may vary

This is a great message for all…young, old or in-between! Go for the dream! Always go for the dream, everything else will work itself out.

Piaggia Del Giuggiolo

Libba Bray

Recently, I received a post that really got under my skin. It’s from Fiona (Hi, Fiona). I started to dash off a reply and then I thought that it required a much longer, more considered answer. With her permission, I’m reprinting her original comment below followed by my response. My response is lengthy; I apologize. But it is from the heart.

“I’m in a bit of a dilemma and I made a deal with my father that I would get advice from three people: my high school counselor, my voice coach, and an author. I want to go into the fine arts: writing, singing, composing. My father wants me to go to Columbia, Yale, or Harvard. I’d be fine with these but I want to go to a smaller school and then study abroad for at least two years. “It’s my life and this is a decision that will alter…

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